Meet My Kids: Alex

Alex and me a few months ago

I think most girls dream of their children. They dream of the funny things their kids will do, and think about buying baby clothes when they pass through the kids section of  a department store. My version of this dream always looked a little different though. I dreamt of the day my child would join my family; meeting them at their orphanage, or watching them get off the plane. Letting them see their room for the first time, and meet their family. I have cried tears of joy over this dream. And still, God had a plan bigger than mine...

I am going to be posting a series of 6 “Meet My Kids” blogs. I will give pictures and stories for each of my boys. The first of these will be about Alex, because he was the one who started this dream. He was the first street child I broke for, really shattered for. The first one God put on my heart. The first one I knew God was going to bless me with someday, long before the Joseph's House dream even existed.

Alex is about 13. He has been on the streets longer than I even know. Alex cannot stay with his family (or chooses not to) because they practice witchcraft. They built a shrine, and he burned it down. Because of this, he was chased from their house, and has not returned since. There are rumors that he has been in many children’s homes, but nobody ever knows for sure. Certainty, he has never stayed in one for long. He has come in and out of my life for the past three years; but this time, he is staying!

The Alex I knew a few months ago was a terror (you can read about my heartbreak, and watching him struggle here). He was disrespectful, and picked fights with the other kids. He has learned how to survive on the streets, and he does it well. He is crafty, and can manipulate to get what he needs. He steals whatever manipulation cannot get him. I was watching the light leave this precious boy, watching that innocence disappear forever. When I started thinking about Joseph’s House, Alex was the first child I thought of. I loved him, and wanted him home so badly. That being said, I struggled with the idea. I was sure that God had placed Alex in my life for the specific task of raising him. It was going to take a strong bond, and deep love to raise Alex; I knew God has given me that love. But even with this love, I wasn’t sure it was possible. Honestly, sometimes I would just cry and cry, because I loved Alex so much, but thought he was beyond helping.

Alex last night at dinner.

But God new better, and I should have trusted my Father. I told God I would take Alex, with all his troubles and behavior problems. I told God I would do it, but I was so scared! But God provides when we are faithful. I stated above that the Alex I knew a few months ago was a terror- that is because Jesus is working in mighty ways in Alex’s life. Honestly, nobody can really believe the changes we are seeing! It can only be God. The Alex I knew wouldn’t stick around for a full afternoon of programs. He was in and out, never consistent. Today’s Alex never misses a program. He is at the church before programs start. He helps cook, and clean up after. He listens, and participates. The Alex of a few months ago only knew how to get negative attention; now he thrives on being good. Its hard for him, and I watch him struggle, but he is winning this fight! Sometimes, he will begin to misbehave. Before he really goes off though, he will look over at me to see if I am watching, and I will say “Alex, I know you want to be a good boy. I am so proud of you, because you are doing so well. Now please listen to me” and he will. You can see it in his eyes; its a wide, loving gaze. He can do this. He can do this because I love him, and he knows that. And maybe he trusts love for the first time- I praise God for giving me this connection with Alex. I praise God for never giving up, or never letting me give up. I praise Jesus for working in Alex’s life, so that being his mother is actually possible.

Sometimes the idea of raising him is terrifying, the idea of failing him is infinitely more frightening. The idea of not taking him in and loving him is the impossibility now... God has given me His vision, and I will not let go of this. I praise God for Alex.

I love him, and he is my child.