Meet My Kids: Sabote

I think God has built a special room in my heart for each of my sons. There is no room which is better than another, but they are all unique. They all have their own feel, and my love for each of my boys is equally special. God built these rooms in His own time and way. Sometimes they were instant, and sometimes construction took a few days or weeks. But for each of my boys, from the moment I lay eyes on them, God began making them their own forever space in my heart. The exception to this was Sabote...

Just look at that bright smile!

God built Sabote’s room before I ever met him. I knew I wanted to open Joseph’s House, and I knew
I wanted a certain number of kids (at that time 5, which is now 6- you’ll get to read about that when its Waswa’s story :) I wanted the hardest and most challenging boys. I wanted the kids who had been through the most, and who had no other hope. When word got out that these were the kids I wanted, I started hearing about a boy called Chenge. Chenge is the drug they do here, and when I child is nicknamed Chenge, it says something about the amount of drugs they do. So I began searching for this Chenge (who’s real name is Sabote). Sabote stays deep in Kisenyi. He is high all the time, and has no use for our programs. He has a solid community in Kisenyi, and has no reason to leave it.

My search for Sabote was an event, let me tell you! I told just about every street kid I knew that I wanted Sabote to come to Kivulu for street programs. I searched Kisenyi for him several nights in a row. I bribed kids, and had pretty much the whole street community looking for him. All of this started out as an attempt to meet him, and to find out if God would place him on my heart. But God did something bigger; in the time it took to find him, God was already building his room in my heart. After a few days of searching and praying for him, I realized I didn’t need to get to know Sabote; God had already given me my answer. Needless to say, on the day Sabote finally showed his face, I was overjoyed! I was at the church, and all the sudden a dozen boys ran in, shouting “Auntie, Sabote is here! Sabote is here!”. Sure enough, in walked this boy of about 12, looking very shy and also very happy. I walked over and introduced myself, and that was that.

Me and Sabote during a night outreach to Kisenyi

Sabote is charming. He is funny in that good natured kind of way. He has a genuinely sweet heart, and gentile disposition. He is honest. He doesn’t care what other people think. Sabote has been hurt a lot in his life. At only 12, he has already been on the streets 4 years. He has serious brain damage from his drug use, and is slow (I mean that literally, his movements are just delayed). But he is bright and happy and I love him. The best part is that even though Sabote has a hard time trusting people, God was also preparing Sabote’s heart for me. In my searching, Sabote learned that there was an auntie in Kivulu who loved him. I hadn’t met him, but I love him so much! And he knows that, and he loves me too. He lights up with a smile whenever I see him.

It is devastating for me to leave Sabote in Kisenyi each night. It breaks my heart to see him stay in that terrible place. There have been many nights I wish I could just bring him back with me. I know that day is coming soon, but it cannot get here fast enough. Sabote is my wonderful, precious little boy. God loves him more than I do, and I love him more than I can begin to say. Soon, I will not have to leave him alone at night. I will not have to worry about him being safe, or what he will eat. I will tuck him into bed myself, in his own room in our house. But until that day, I will love him with all I have. I will keep him safe within the walls of my heart.

Meet My Kids: Bashil

Bashil making one of his crazy faces!

If you were to visit our programs for one afternoon, you would notice a very small and VERY wild little boy. He is often making the most absurd faces at strangers, and has virtually perfected the “stink eye”. He can be found starting fights (many of them) or annoying the older boys. He speaks in a high pitched, extremely fast way, like the words cannot get out of his mouth fast enough. He probably has ADD... it says something that out of all the street kids I work with, this child’s behavior stands out as potentially ADD. But all that said, this little boy is maybe the cutest child you’ve ever seen! He says the sweetest things you’ve ever heard, and smiles in the most open and loving way imaginable.

Being about 8, Bashil will be the baby of the family. He is still so young in so many ways. He annoys the life out of his older brothers, but they adore him in that “only a little sibling could get away with this..” kind of way. Bashil still rubs his eyes with his fist, like a toddler would. He completely falls

Two hands make one heart :)

apart when he is hungry, and as his mom, I already recognize his unique “I’m hungry”, grumpy face. He falls asleep anywhere, pretty much as soon as he feels safe enough to rest. When he sees me, he runs and jumps in my arms. He is the only one of my kids young enough to pick up, or who I allow to sit on my lap. And Lord knows this child makes me laugh! I cannot help it! He has terrible manners, and we are working on his social skills. But there is no doubt, he is mine :)

I don’t know Bashil’s story, but I do know he has been on the streets a long time. I know he has been abandoned, and that he is still young enough to want a family. I also know he is way too wild for any home but mine. I know that God put him on my heart, and he fits there perfectly. Although Bashil is probably the most difficult of my children, in a weird way he is also the easiest. I don’t know how to explain it, maybe it is because he is so young.

Bashil and me after a day at the beach

Being his mom is natural (I am not saying it isn’t with my other kids; I really cannot explain it well). I recognize his behaviors, and while they are challenging, I can predict them. I know when he is tired, or hungry, or sad, or just needs a hug. I know when to push him to talk, and when to give him space to think. I know which battles to pick, and which to leave alone. While I have known Bashil a short amount of time (about 5 months), it feels like he has always been in my life. God has given me special understanding for all of my children, but understanding Bashil takes less effort than some of the others.


Jesus, thank you for bringing Bashil into my life, and into my family.
Jesus I praise you for the passion and energy Bashil has for life!
Lord, I praise you for making such a beautiful and creative child.

Father, I am beyond blessed by Bashil. Thank you for the honor entrusting me with his care.

Meet My Kids: Alex

Alex and me a few months ago

I think most girls dream of their children. They dream of the funny things their kids will do, and think about buying baby clothes when they pass through the kids section of  a department store. My version of this dream always looked a little different though. I dreamt of the day my child would join my family; meeting them at their orphanage, or watching them get off the plane. Letting them see their room for the first time, and meet their family. I have cried tears of joy over this dream. And still, God had a plan bigger than mine...

I am going to be posting a series of 6 “Meet My Kids” blogs. I will give pictures and stories for each of my boys. The first of these will be about Alex, because he was the one who started this dream. He was the first street child I broke for, really shattered for. The first one God put on my heart. The first one I knew God was going to bless me with someday, long before the Joseph's House dream even existed.

Alex is about 13. He has been on the streets longer than I even know. Alex cannot stay with his family (or chooses not to) because they practice witchcraft. They built a shrine, and he burned it down. Because of this, he was chased from their house, and has not returned since. There are rumors that he has been in many children’s homes, but nobody ever knows for sure. Certainty, he has never stayed in one for long. He has come in and out of my life for the past three years; but this time, he is staying!

The Alex I knew a few months ago was a terror (you can read about my heartbreak, and watching him struggle here). He was disrespectful, and picked fights with the other kids. He has learned how to survive on the streets, and he does it well. He is crafty, and can manipulate to get what he needs. He steals whatever manipulation cannot get him. I was watching the light leave this precious boy, watching that innocence disappear forever. When I started thinking about Joseph’s House, Alex was the first child I thought of. I loved him, and wanted him home so badly. That being said, I struggled with the idea. I was sure that God had placed Alex in my life for the specific task of raising him. It was going to take a strong bond, and deep love to raise Alex; I knew God has given me that love. But even with this love, I wasn’t sure it was possible. Honestly, sometimes I would just cry and cry, because I loved Alex so much, but thought he was beyond helping.

Alex last night at dinner.

But God new better, and I should have trusted my Father. I told God I would take Alex, with all his troubles and behavior problems. I told God I would do it, but I was so scared! But God provides when we are faithful. I stated above that the Alex I knew a few months ago was a terror- that is because Jesus is working in mighty ways in Alex’s life. Honestly, nobody can really believe the changes we are seeing! It can only be God. The Alex I knew wouldn’t stick around for a full afternoon of programs. He was in and out, never consistent. Today’s Alex never misses a program. He is at the church before programs start. He helps cook, and clean up after. He listens, and participates. The Alex of a few months ago only knew how to get negative attention; now he thrives on being good. Its hard for him, and I watch him struggle, but he is winning this fight! Sometimes, he will begin to misbehave. Before he really goes off though, he will look over at me to see if I am watching, and I will say “Alex, I know you want to be a good boy. I am so proud of you, because you are doing so well. Now please listen to me” and he will. You can see it in his eyes; its a wide, loving gaze. He can do this. He can do this because I love him, and he knows that. And maybe he trusts love for the first time- I praise God for giving me this connection with Alex. I praise God for never giving up, or never letting me give up. I praise Jesus for working in Alex’s life, so that being his mother is actually possible.

Sometimes the idea of raising him is terrifying, the idea of failing him is infinitely more frightening. The idea of not taking him in and loving him is the impossibility now... God has given me His vision, and I will not let go of this. I praise God for Alex.

I love him, and he is my child.

Love Knows No Bounds

So, as I posted previously, I now have 5 boys that God has placed on my heart. They are specific boys (Bashil, Kasozi, Alex, Sabote, and Yahaya) who are going to come into my home (Joseph's House) and be my children. The first three I listed are regulars at our programs, and I have known them a long time. The last two, Yahaya and Sabote, are not. These two boys live in Kisenyi, which is the worst slum in Uganda. They do drugs all the time, and therefore cannot remember when it is time for programs. Sabote and Yahaya are two of the most distrustful children I have ever known. They have been on the streets half their lives, and are wary of strangers (and rightfully so!). So in an attempt to connect with them, and begin building the bond/trust that they will require to stay in my home, I have been going to find them every night (and most days) this week. One of our uncles, Laurence, is the toughest guy I know. He has been going with me, and I have never felt so safe- not in Uganda, or anywhere else. Each night, we have been moving to Kisenyi and around Kivulu too. The reason we have gone at night is because during the day, the boys are looking for scrap. They are moving all around the city, and are hard to find. But at night, they settle down for a place to sleep.

The first day we started this, I wanted to meet Sabote. Although I didn't know him yet, God had spoken clearly to my heart that he was coming home. I told just about every street child I knew that I wanted Sabote to come to street programs. Exactly one week ago, I met the last of my 5 children. He came staggering up, totally high, but all smiles. I guess it feels kinda special to know that an auntie has been searching for you. That day, the team we were hosting took the kids swimming. He stayed the whole time, but was pretty wary of me. Before he left that day, I told him I was going to find him again soon.

In order to prove how much I cared, I knew I would need to reach out to them. So the next night, Laurence and me searched for them. We found Sabote and bought him something to eat, then continued to look for Yahaya. We searched for over 3 hours, and had no luck. The next day, we tired again, and ended up finding both of them. They were both happy to see me and Laurence, and we took them to programs and then to dinner. Because they are so distrustful, at dinner I told them why I wanted to see them. I explained that God loved them, and that I loved them very much. I told them I couldn't promise, but that I was going to do everything in my power to bring them off the streets. At this news, they lit up with smiles. After that, they asked me questions and I gave them new clothes.

Since that day, I have found them each night in Kisenyi. I will not pretend it has been easy. I have walked hours and hours this week looking for them. I have traveled to the most dangerous part of the city (which God prompted me to do, and I trust God to keep me safe) and been in crowds of the most dangerous people (poor Laurence has gotten in a few fights defending me. As he informed me, "I would die for you, I will keep you safe"). I sat with Yahaya in the emergency room at 11PM because he was sick; when he threw up on me and I didn't flinch, I knew I was a mom. My clothes are completely dirt caked (in Kisenyi, they sell coal and so the dirt is literally black). I am heartbroken, because each day and night I say goodbye to five little boys who are mind, and who should be home with me. I had to tuck my child in for bed, under a trash bag, on the concrete. I sat with him until he fell asleep, and I cried all the way home. Needless to say, I am exhausted, and this is just the beginning. But no heartbreak or hardship can even compare to the joys this week has brought...

-Watching them giggle together at the restaurant, that first night at dinner. Sabote had never had cold soda, so when the water condensed he freaked out, claiming his soda was leaking.
- Yahaya eagerly showing me where he sleeps, so "I can always find him".
- Sabote's face lighting up with a smile when he saw me in Kisenyi that first night I came to find him.
- Yahaya falling asleep on my lap, driving home from the clinic. 
- Praying with the boys before we part each night. Having both of the boys shout "we must pray" on the night I accidentally forgot.
- Sabote jumping and shouting in the street, trying to flag down a boda in the dark.
- Sabote, showing up at programs today on his own. He didn't bring his drugs, and it was the first time I've seen him sober. He even stayed all day.

**Please pray for Yahaya, as he has been harder to find, and less than eager to come to street programs. Pray that God builds the bond needed, so that he will stay in Joseph's House.

About 5 months ago, things were hard. My family has had a rough year, and I became a full time missionary. As I sat one night, totally broken by all the hard things I was facing, I told God I trusted Him.  I prayed..  

God, you are doing something new. And I cannot see it yet. But I know you have a plan, better than I can imagine. I know that You are bringing a sunrise. And while right now it is still dark, I know Your morning will be glorious. I will be waiting.

The sun has risen; and this sunrise is glorious.

Joseph's House

So over the past two weeks, God has cast an amazing vision for His Kingdom here in Uganda. I am so thankful for everything He is doing. He has once again called me (sooner than I expected) to follow Him. So here I go, and I am sooo excited! This is part of an email that went out to friends and family a few days ago. It explains my heart and God’s vision...

**When I came to Uganda, I had no intention of opening my own home. I feel know that I am supposed to be working with API. At the same time, there is a group of boys I am really drawn to. It is those boys who are deeply troubled; boys who do not understand healthy relationships or boundaries, who use lots of drugs, and who resort to fighting when they are upset. I have talked about it in my blog many times, but God always puts these particularly tough boys on my heart. Its a divine love, because its stronger and goes further than my own love. I see a light in these boys! They are the children who have been through too much, but who can make the greatest impact. They are the most caring, protective and empathetic people I know. They loved deeply, and lost greatly because of it. They are the boys nobody else can take. They are truly the least of the least, the exact people God calls us to work with in (Matthew 25:40). Each day I see these boys, who I love SO much, stare into their futures and grow more hopeless. And it breaks my heart, and it breaks the heart of their Father. 

The love for these children is huge on my heart, and I feel God pressing to get them off the streets. It is for this reason that I am following God’s call to help. The API staff and I have decided that I should start my own home, under API. I will still be working with API, and will be involved and supported by the ministry, but this home will be mine. Its going to be a home for a select few troubled boys. We are calling it Joseph’s House, because Joseph is a character in the bible that the boys can relate to. He went through so much, and God lifted him up.

Joseph’s House will be a home for 5 of the most troubled children I have ever met. These boys cannot go into any other home; nobody else can meet their needs. It is because of their specific behavioral needs that the number will be so small. These boys will go to school, and be involved in daily life at home. Joseph’s House will become a family for these boys, and I will be the full time house mother. I am going to be there for these kids 110%, even living with them. I will wake them up in the mornings for school, help them with homework after, take them to soccer practice, do devotions with them each night, and read them all bedtime stories.. In our house, there will also be a full time house uncle (who also lives there) and a cook. Because of the small number of boys, our staff will be able to develop deep and personal bonds with each of the children. The boys will also be receiving individual and group counseling once a week with a certified Ugandan counselor.

I believe that with a stable home, counseling, and the Christlike love me and our staff can offer, these boys can be rehabilitated. They will be in a safe place for the first time in their lives, and they will have parents who love them. The most important part of this is that it is God’s heart; I cannot stress that enough! God is the one who put these boys on my heart. He is the ONLY one who can really heal them. He is the only one who can equip me and the staff for raising these traumatized boys. He is the only one who can provide the funds to make it happen.**

I know many people will doubt me because I am young. People will question me, because there is no way for me to be prepared for all that is to come. But God is the ultimate teacher. And these are His promises to me..

When I humble myself before God, He will generously give me the wisdom I need- James 1:5

I should not be afraid, because God is mighty. He is my God, and He is always with me. He will give me strength, and help me. He will uphold me with His righteousness- Isaiah 41:10

I can do all things through him who strengthens me- Phil 4:13

So God is the creator of these boys. He is the creator of this vision. He is the creator of me. He knows what I need, and I know I need Him. Through Christ, all things are possible. I know that God is going to open the doors, hearts and wallets to bring His children home. And I am so, so excited and overjoyed to be a part of it!

A Wonderful Birthday

Today was my birthday :) Now, I have celebrated many happy birthdays in the US with my loving family, but I must say never have I had one quite like this...

We have a wonderful team here this week, and I am so glad they are here to serve with us. That being said, I didn't expect to celebrate anything today. I honestly was just going to ignore my birthday, because there are more important things going on. I was very surprised then, when we celebrated with the street kids.

At programs today, I realized Abby was organizing the kids to sing me happy birthday. This itself was a lot, and just having them sing to me was special. We had about 90 boys at programs today, so their birthday song was loud! After the song, Uncle Abdul had some of the boys come up and appreciate me. Abby had given some of the boys I am closest to presents (which she bought; two beautiful pairs of earrings, and THREE bouquets of flowers) that they were to give me. They got up in front of everyone, and told me how much I meant to them. They told me how happy it made them that I take care of them, and that they know I sacrificed a lot to leave my family and friends in America to be with them. They told me they love me. 

After the "official" presents were given, other boys started to get up. They came in front of the whole group to say how much I mean to them. After they spoke, they would come give me a gift. After a few of these speeches, the boys had permission to give me a hug. They all ran at me, like a wave of children, as swallowed me in hugs. They shouted they loved me, and gave me gifts. These kids don't have anything, but whatever they had they gave to me. One boy, Issac, had a new little toy. I don't even know what it is exactly, but he loves it. He had shown it to all of us at least three times that day already. When it was his turn to give me a hug, he gave me his new toy. It was the most precious thing I have ever seen, because you could see it was painful to part with. But still, he loved me, and that was the only thing he had to offer me (In case you're worried, I kept it and am planning on giving it back to him tomorrow. It would have been rude to refuse it today). They gave me the little money they had, and candy they had gotten, and food. I got broken watches, and crackers, and notes. Literally, whatever they had on them, they gave as a token of their love.

Let me just emphasize, my kids are AMAZING! My birthday gift was their love. They are the most giving, caring children I know. They are so special and wonderful and good! It is because of this that I love them so much. I am honored that they trust me. I am honored they know I love them. I am honored I get to share Christ with them. I am honored to be a part of their lives. They are beautiful, and I love them.

After programs me, Abby and Amy went to my favorite restaurant for dinner. I had delicious ice cream for dessert. Overall, it was a wonderful birthday. Seriously, I am so blessed.

I am blessed to have this life God has given me.
I am blessed to know these children. To be part of their lives, and have their love and trust.
I am blessed to have a best friend who knows what makes me feel special.
I am blessed to have so many other amazing friends and co-workers who love me.
I am blessed to have a family and friends in America who loves me too, and who sent me a lot of love today.

I am just blessed.

These Many Reasons

I write my journal as a daily letter to God. These are some of my recent entries...

11/1/12: Went to Kivulu with Amy today to hangout with our kids. It means a lot to them when we see them outside of regular programs. We found Kasozi and Able, and invited them to dinner. I love those boys SO MUCH! Uncle Laurence walked with them to Chicken Tonight and the whole meal, they couldn’t stop smiling. It makes my heart sing because they know we love them. While we were eating, a bunch of our little boys in Wandegyre found us. We bought them all chips (fries) and chicken. They danced outside the restaurant in the rain, causing a scene but totally making me smile.

11/2/12: At programs today, the boys were wild! And all the boys we met yesterday were in really good moods. Alex is back at programs, and it makes me so sad to see him on the streets again. At the same time, I am glad he is seeking us out so we can help/love him to the best of our abilities. Jesus, please give me clarity and wisdom in your plan for him. Help me to help him; I know that you haven’t given up on him. You still have a plan. Reveal it to me!
Often I love just watching all the boys interact. Outside the church, they were playing before we started. They always make me laugh. They fight, and steal from each other, and are also so giving and caring. God, you create only beautiful things, and these boys are so divinely crafted. It seems impossible to me that my love for them is only a fraction of Yours. Lord, how deep and how wide is Your love? Your mysteries are to great for me to fathom.

11/3/12: Out to the village for the weekend. Fred is settling in at home, and it makes me SO happy to see him safe here. I could see the smile on his face from way down the road as we drove up. He is so sweet. At therapy tonight, it was hard to hear the ongoing loss and pain these boy are dealing with. People have deeply hurt them, and I don’t understand how you could ever willingly look at their precious faces and aim to hurt them. Honestly, it makes me sick. Sometimes it seems too much, and to great for anyone to heal. It is at times when I listen to their heartbreak that I remember only You can heal. Father, we all need your love so badly. Only Your love can redeem, heal and comfort in the way each of these boys need (in the way we all need). They have come so far, but there is so much left to be done. Spirit, fall on these boys. Continue doing the work that was started here, so that my precious boys are whole. Let them all feel Your love tonight.

11/4/12: SO MUCH RAIN! Days like today are some of my favorites. I went to the older boys house in time for the sky to open up. It poured for over an hour. All the boys crowded in the living room. Teenage boys are way to hyper when its rainy... I don’t know what it is! Emma started singing, and little Bashil and Ashlaf were playing the drums. Monday and Shafik started dancing. When I say dancing, I mean it. Africans can dance! Its a full blown, no worries, no reservations, whole body kind of movement. They were all laughing and screaming and jumping, and I was laughing so hard. I miss the days when I lived full time with them, and I know that it will always be special in my memories. Still, being able to see them every weekend, and share in their daily lives like this is wonderful.
As I watched them, suddenly, it hit me so hard; they are the reason. I know that sounds silly- obviously they are the reason I am here. They are my ministry, and my kids. But its more than that. Watching them reminded me of a night, several years ago. Sitting in Kivulu, watching this same group of boys play at their house. Now teens, they were all just kids then, and I was just a visitor. But I loved them. Everything about Africa was new, really foreign, and kinda scary. But I knew the moment I met them, they were this piece of my life that had been missing. I knew they were the reason You had placed Africa on my heart, the reason I felt an urgency to go. And watching them then, just like today, my heart melted. Overnight, my life changed drastically. They are the reason You brought me here. Uganda is my home, and sometimes its hard. But I wouldn’t change it, or ever want to. These kids are the reason I am here to stay; I knew it the moment I met them... I could never leave them. God, I cannot praise you enough for this great love. For Your love for me, or the beautiful life You’ve given me. Its incredible...

For you Lord, there are 10,000 reasons for my heart to find :) 

This Family

So, Bombo is my getaway each week. I LOVE street programs, and hanging out with friends in Kampala, and all the things that go with living in the city. The boys on the streets are just as near and dear to my heart as my Forever Home boys (my heart breaks from loving them). But I also really love the village on the weekends. Its so relaxing for me, each week, driving out. I get to roll the windows down, and sing in my car. And the village is beautiful, which I also really love. Trees and grasslands, and sunsets and bright stars.
But mostly, I love the village because its where our A.P.I. family gathers. All our boys, our Forever boys. And all our staff, me and Abby and David and Amy, plus all our land aunts and uncles. And we have fun, and its family.

Last weekend was a super fun time. There was a huge rain storm, and it poured for over and hour. And all the boys were at our younger boys home, as well as all our staff (and wonderful visitors). We were out on the veranda playing cards, when all the sudden the sky opened up. Some of the boys decided to  jump on the trampoline in the rain, which is always fun. Then David decided to get in on the action. Within two seconds they were soaked through, but all having a blast. David then rallied all the boys to carry uncles Sam and Peter out in the rain, and pretty soon all our grown up uncles were jumping in the storm like children. It was so much fun to watch. The rest of the afternoon was filled with arm wrestling contests between boys and uncles, and other shenanigans. After awhile, the veranda was completely flooded with an inch of water, and uncle Peter decided to lead a “praise God for the rain” dance party on it. We turned on music, and all the boys started dancing...but they all kept slipping and falling because of all the water, and it was hilarious.

Everyone was laughing and screaming and it was a blast. And it made me so thankful, that we can have these homes. That all these boys can be rescued, and come into our family. That we can have a safe place for them, with people who love them. That they can be children! That they can play and shout and get dirty and wet; that they can be themselves. Its amazing what God is doing here, how He is building His Kingdom in our little village.

 In this small country in East Africa, God is very present. His love is overflowing, and through randomly assembled team of Christ lovers, He is changing lives. I am so blessed to be part of this adventure.

David and Monday wrestling

David and the boys dragging Peter out into the rain

Precious Regan, completely happy and totally soaked

All our boys (young and old) playing together