Have I ever talked about Eddie? Probably, but recently he has been on my mind and heart a lot :)
So I first met Eddie when I visited Uganda in 2010. He was living in the home with API, but was running away a lot. Midway through our trip, Eddie left the home. Now I had not particularly bonded with him, and when I thought back on my trip months later he was not the first boy who came to mind. When I went back the following summer however, God gave me a passion for this boy. Eddie is 14, and he has been in many homes. He has also been hurt a lot, and that makes it hard for him to trust people. This is not a unique story with street boys, and so I hadn't given him much though. But in the year since I had seen him, Eddie had changed. He had been placed in another home in Kampala, which was not a very good boys home. He was living with about 50 other boys, most of whom had lice and bed bugs, and who were not going to school. He had school (a school in the slum, but still a school) fees paid by the home, and although his friends were not attending, Eddie was very focused on his work.
Needless to say, I was really impressed by his change of heart. He totally realized that he should not have run away from API, and had really suffered on the streets before he had been taken into his current home. Although it wasn't a great one, he was not about to blow his last chance. Even if he had, he would still be on my heart. I wanted to get Eddie out of the situation he was in- I really believed he deserved an..8th? chance. So I began working on finding him a school. My parents graciously agreed to sponsor him, and now Eddie is enrolled in one of the nicest Christian boarding schools in Kampala. He gets to stay at a nicer boys home on his holidays, with one of our uncles who also wanted to help him.
In the time it took to find him a good school, I also started spending quality time with him. We would go out to dinner once a week, and also some special occasions on the weekend (like swimming). I got to really know Eddie, who is a shy but honest and loving kid. He started opening up to me, and told me his whole story. Unlike all the other kids I work with, Eddie had no chance of going back to the API homes. I wasn't just working with him, and sharing responsibility with Abby and David and the other staff. Eddie became my responsibility. I didn't even fully realize this until we went to dinner one night. We were eating at one of his favorite restaurants, and Eddie began to tell me how much he loved and trusted me, and how I had helped him so much. He told me that he knew he had blown a lot of chances, but he was so blessed that I had given him another chance. He told me that he though of me like his mom, and asked me if he could call me that. Here is the thing- I don't let or encourage any of the boys to call me that. They had moms, and I am not her. And I don't act like a mom. Yes, I help parent, but Abby and David are the leaders in our homes, and then we have full time aunties and uncles. Mostly though, mom is forever and so I don't take it lightly. Moms don't leave. Moms take care of you, and forgive you even when things are hard or you make a mistake. They don't leave and not check back- moms are there on your wedding day, and for the birth of your first child. And you're responsible for your children, you have to actually raise them. So when Eddie asked me, I didn't take it lightly. I knew the weight behind that word, and I accepted it. The other day, I got a letter from him. One of the things he wrote was
"Mom, I miss you. I cannot believe that you chose me, out of all the boys on the streets or in Uganda. You picked me, and you're my mom. That makes me feel so special. I praise God for you".
That right there makes it worth it. Our relationship is different, and there are boundaries there that other mom-son relationships don't have, but that doesn't mean I don't love him like any birth mom (the same way I love all my boys really). Sometimes its hard, and I panic. I realize I have parenting decisions to make. I am moving to Uganda, and I will not leave Eddie to the care of friends. I will be there with him, and make hard choices that affect his future and life. In the span of a few months, I adopted a teenager (I often think about the possibility of actually adopting him, although for legal reasons that would be almost impossible). Now I ask my mom for parenting advice, and worry about Eddie and who he is spending time with, and how he is doing in school. I answer to his teachers when he misbehaves, and comfort him when he has a hard day. And its crazy, but so is my Ugandan life. And I cannot do it alone, but I have a God who won't abandon me, and friends to help me. And so I do the best I can, and stumble through it, and love this kid who somehow became my son.
So I first met Eddie when I visited Uganda in 2010. He was living in the home with API, but was running away a lot. Midway through our trip, Eddie left the home. Now I had not particularly bonded with him, and when I thought back on my trip months later he was not the first boy who came to mind. When I went back the following summer however, God gave me a passion for this boy. Eddie is 14, and he has been in many homes. He has also been hurt a lot, and that makes it hard for him to trust people. This is not a unique story with street boys, and so I hadn't given him much though. But in the year since I had seen him, Eddie had changed. He had been placed in another home in Kampala, which was not a very good boys home. He was living with about 50 other boys, most of whom had lice and bed bugs, and who were not going to school. He had school (a school in the slum, but still a school) fees paid by the home, and although his friends were not attending, Eddie was very focused on his work.
Needless to say, I was really impressed by his change of heart. He totally realized that he should not have run away from API, and had really suffered on the streets before he had been taken into his current home. Although it wasn't a great one, he was not about to blow his last chance. Even if he had, he would still be on my heart. I wanted to get Eddie out of the situation he was in- I really believed he deserved an..8th? chance. So I began working on finding him a school. My parents graciously agreed to sponsor him, and now Eddie is enrolled in one of the nicest Christian boarding schools in Kampala. He gets to stay at a nicer boys home on his holidays, with one of our uncles who also wanted to help him.
In the time it took to find him a good school, I also started spending quality time with him. We would go out to dinner once a week, and also some special occasions on the weekend (like swimming). I got to really know Eddie, who is a shy but honest and loving kid. He started opening up to me, and told me his whole story. Unlike all the other kids I work with, Eddie had no chance of going back to the API homes. I wasn't just working with him, and sharing responsibility with Abby and David and the other staff. Eddie became my responsibility. I didn't even fully realize this until we went to dinner one night. We were eating at one of his favorite restaurants, and Eddie began to tell me how much he loved and trusted me, and how I had helped him so much. He told me that he knew he had blown a lot of chances, but he was so blessed that I had given him another chance. He told me that he though of me like his mom, and asked me if he could call me that. Here is the thing- I don't let or encourage any of the boys to call me that. They had moms, and I am not her. And I don't act like a mom. Yes, I help parent, but Abby and David are the leaders in our homes, and then we have full time aunties and uncles. Mostly though, mom is forever and so I don't take it lightly. Moms don't leave. Moms take care of you, and forgive you even when things are hard or you make a mistake. They don't leave and not check back- moms are there on your wedding day, and for the birth of your first child. And you're responsible for your children, you have to actually raise them. So when Eddie asked me, I didn't take it lightly. I knew the weight behind that word, and I accepted it. The other day, I got a letter from him. One of the things he wrote was
"Mom, I miss you. I cannot believe that you chose me, out of all the boys on the streets or in Uganda. You picked me, and you're my mom. That makes me feel so special. I praise God for you".
That right there makes it worth it. Our relationship is different, and there are boundaries there that other mom-son relationships don't have, but that doesn't mean I don't love him like any birth mom (the same way I love all my boys really). Sometimes its hard, and I panic. I realize I have parenting decisions to make. I am moving to Uganda, and I will not leave Eddie to the care of friends. I will be there with him, and make hard choices that affect his future and life. In the span of a few months, I adopted a teenager (I often think about the possibility of actually adopting him, although for legal reasons that would be almost impossible). Now I ask my mom for parenting advice, and worry about Eddie and who he is spending time with, and how he is doing in school. I answer to his teachers when he misbehaves, and comfort him when he has a hard day. And its crazy, but so is my Ugandan life. And I cannot do it alone, but I have a God who won't abandon me, and friends to help me. And so I do the best I can, and stumble through it, and love this kid who somehow became my son.
