Saturday, June 30, 2012

God Sees

   Recently a 19 yr old girl from my church and college community went missing. Its been devastating searching for her, and I cannot even report a happy ending (yet). I don't know when she will be found, or what state she will be in- I cannot see her, or know what she is thinking. What I can see is the loss this is for her family and our community. I can see the toll its taking on everyone, worrying and wondering and praying. But it has been an amazing blessing to see everyone show up to support her family, and to search. People have been searching, hiking in dense brush for her day and night. The prayer community is even larger; prayer warriors from all over are lifting this up to our God constantly. There are SO many people who desperately want her home, and who will not stop looking until she is safe.
   Its been hard for me on two levels. I want her home and found too- I am praying and searching. But on another level, in 6 days I will be joining a group of kids nobody misses. My boys are younger than 19, and more broken. They come from tragic situations and face the streets. Outside A.P.I. and a few other ministries, not one person cares about them. They are a problem. They are unwanted. Nobody from their families forms search parties to bring them back. Nobody in their villages calls for the government to care (not that the government would EVER care even if that happened). I look at the unending, ever expanding search and network of people who are looking for this one precious girl to come back... and yet thousands upon thousands of kids go missing every day. Nobody notices, and life moves on.
   What would the world look like if when every child went missing, we put out this kind of effort? What if we never stopped until they were safe? What if we really prayed (like my community is praying right now) for each of those kids? What if race didn't matter, and we honestly treated them all the same? My boys were once in families like this girl- maybe loved maybe not, but they belonged somewhere. There is a saying, it takes a village to raise a child. Therefore, it takes a village to loose/ kill one (taken from When Invisible Children Sing).
   Here is the great news- God cares. We have a Father who NEVER stops searching, trying to bring back His children (no matter how old they are). He never looses them, or forgets them. He never ceases trying to save them, and bring them to safety. He will never stop until this beautiful girl in my church is found, just like He will never stop until my boys are safe. Because He cares for all His children :)

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Sacrifice



sac·ri·fice/ˈsakrəˌfīs/

Noun:
An act of slaughtering an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to God or to a divine or supernatural figure.


So the next 12 days are going to be really hard for me. If you think of it, I could use some extra prayers- I need some divine peace :) I keep thinking of all the people I need to say goodbye to, and all the things I am letting go of (like my pets) and its breaking my heart. I love my boys, and my job, and Uganda, but I love this too. I love my jeep, and my house and America. I love my friends and family more than words, and I am going to miss them like crazy. I am grieving the loss of this time, and these relationships, because no matter what they will change. People change, and life goes on, and I will never come back to this place in time again. I know that God has blessed me with friendships that will endure, but I won't be around for a lot of births and weddings, and its sad. My anxiety level is rising, and the hardest part is yet to come.

I recently read a quote about sacrifice in a book I am reading. The author is saying "sacrifice isn't sacrifice until it hurts". He is is so right! Humans don't like to surrender anything. Its hard to give up something, especially something you love. I keep thinking about Jesus, and his final moments in the garden. His whole life he knew what his purpose was, and he was willing to follow. He found joy in being able to serve God. He knew the importance of his choice, and he was going to do it out of love, because in fact he loved us too much to make another choice. Now, my life isn't on the line, and I am not about to make the biggest sacrifice ever made, but again get that glance into what Jesus was thinking.

He loved us, and because of that love he was bound to his choice. He would never have been happy if he hadn't made it. I love my boys, and so I could never really turn away from them. He also probably didn't realize how hard actually surrendering to God was going to be; we know from scripture that he was in so much anguish over his choice that he actually cried blood. That is not a picture of a man making a peaceful and joyous sacrifice. So while I know the choice I am making is right, its not easy. While I know it is what I was put on this earth to do, it isn't  perfect. Now its my turn to really sacrifice my life up to God, because this time it hurts. This time it takes true trust in His plan, and true surrendering of my own.

I have been listening to a worship song (Revelation Song) that says
"Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God almighty,
 Who was, and is, and is to come
 With all Creation I sing;
 Praise to the King of Kings
 You are my everything
 And I will adore You"
The end there- and I will adore you- keep striking me. Its a statement, but its also a command. I will adore You. Even when its hard, or I am struggling. I will adore my King, because He is worthy always. I will continue to sing His praise, no matter what. So I am sacrificing, and its going to get harder before it gets better. But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. Its going to bring God glory, and therefore it will bring me joy.

I will adore You

Sunday, June 3, 2012

You know you're a missionary when...


- you come home every day with a “dust tan”

- you see something on the wall, and you wonder if it was a cockroach or a gecko. No matter what it was, it doesn’t frighten you anymore

- you save every plastic container you get, and recycle almost everything

- you find yourself feeding random street dogs rather than letting food go to waste

- you can accomplish almost any household fix with tape

- a knife is no longer just a kitchen utensil, it is a magic multipurpose tool with a +100 uses

- Skype is a huge financial blessing

- its not worth wasting drinking water on brushing your teeth

- your sheets are damp because they got caught in a sudden rain storm and didn’t dry before bed (the same thing can apply to clothing)

- you have a preference about how bugs are cooked

- you know all the songs at church, but don’t understand what the words mean

- you set aside a 4 hour time chunk for going to the bank


I know there are many more, and that some of these only apply to being in Africa. But being in America makes me realize all the fun things I’ve learned to think of as normal :)