Okay, so I have been gearing up for and preparing for the camp that we are having this week. I have been prepping for it for months, and praying about it for equally as long. I have been so excited for this team to come, and to work with them. And I wanted to be at camp to see what God did with all the preparing, to see what came of the work we put in. God had other plans....
On Monday, after a weekend of gather supplies and getting last second materials, we loaded up and headed to Entebbe. I wasn't feeling super well in the car, but had felt worse in my life. I praise God that I was able to see the moment the boys arrived. They RAN out of the buses, doing flips and jumping. They came plowing into our staff, doubling us over with hugs, their smiles ear to ear. That moment was glorious, and I know it marked promise for the week to come. It was a good thing I saw it too, because it was one of the few moments I was going to experience. About an hour after their arrival, I was sleeping in our van still feeling pretty sick. I decided to go back to Kampala with Abby and Lauren and Pastor George to get still more supplies we forgot (also for me to get antibiotics at the pharmacy). The drive made me feel better, and I had a more positive outlook when we got back to Entebbe 4 hours later. I put my stuff in my room, and hung my mosquito net. I was staying in the compound with 100 boys, and sharing a bathroom with them. Within 10 min of them using it, it was to gross to even walk into. I was also sleeping on a foam mattress with a stiff wool blanket to cover me, and my room was occupied with mice and a few bats. Now, all of this would be totally doable if I had been feeling better- honestly I wouldn't have cared. But at about 5 pm on Monday night, I began to feel significantly worse. I spiked a fever, and I was getting sick outside in the grass about every hour all night. My body hurt so bad that I could hardly walk except to run outside in time. I was laying in my bed, talking to my mom on the phone, having trouble keeping track of our simple conversation because my mind was fuzzy with fever. So not good, I was super miserable. The next morning I walked out of my room, threw up, burst into tears and asked Abby to take me back to Kampala.
So here I am, in Kampala, and not at camp. Its Thursday, and even though I am feeling better, I know I am not going back. Why do I know? Because this was God's plan for me this week. He used my illness to humble me. I am super disappointed that I am not at camp this week, but I have spent even more time praying about it and over the boys. I am reminded of a few things.
First, that I am not the sit back kind of person. I like to get in there and get dirty- hence moving to Uganda :) But God is still working, even when I am not around. He was with these boys long before me, and He will be there only salvation long after I am gone. I am joining with His plan, allowed to be a guest on this mighty adventure He is having.
Second, I am called to serve these kids in any way I can. I made a promise to God, that my love for these boys would always come first before my own desires. I have accepted that my working with them will lead me away from them sometimes, but that is okay. I wanted to be at camp, but God wanted me in Kampala praying for them. I wanted to see what happened with the team that I prepped for, but I don't get to. If someday God calles me back to the states to work and send money back to the boys, I will do it. It would mean that someone else gets to be here, day in and out, loving them. The boys wouldn't see me at all, but they don't need to. My job as a servant isn't to receive love or recognition for what I do. My job is simply that- to get the job done. Jesus never asked for recognition, but He is rewarded beyond all others for the truest form of servant-hood. May I be like Him.
Third, I praise God for perfect timing! Next week, Abby and David are going to Tanzania and I will be here alone and leading a team. If we didn't have a team here this week, I would be forcing myself back to street programs. I would push through because nobody else is around to take care of the boys. But as it is, I can really rest because we have a team of 15 amazing international volunteers who have come to love the boys. I have peace about resting, because I know that I can.
Lastly, I am reminded that as long as I love God, I have worth. As long as I give Him the whole of my heart, and the reigns of my life, He will use me. It may be in a way I didn't see coming, or even don't love, but I will be used. Prayer is important, and those boys need it. I wouldn't have the time to sit and pray for them if I was running around with them. So I will sit before the Lord, and be still.
On Monday, after a weekend of gather supplies and getting last second materials, we loaded up and headed to Entebbe. I wasn't feeling super well in the car, but had felt worse in my life. I praise God that I was able to see the moment the boys arrived. They RAN out of the buses, doing flips and jumping. They came plowing into our staff, doubling us over with hugs, their smiles ear to ear. That moment was glorious, and I know it marked promise for the week to come. It was a good thing I saw it too, because it was one of the few moments I was going to experience. About an hour after their arrival, I was sleeping in our van still feeling pretty sick. I decided to go back to Kampala with Abby and Lauren and Pastor George to get still more supplies we forgot (also for me to get antibiotics at the pharmacy). The drive made me feel better, and I had a more positive outlook when we got back to Entebbe 4 hours later. I put my stuff in my room, and hung my mosquito net. I was staying in the compound with 100 boys, and sharing a bathroom with them. Within 10 min of them using it, it was to gross to even walk into. I was also sleeping on a foam mattress with a stiff wool blanket to cover me, and my room was occupied with mice and a few bats. Now, all of this would be totally doable if I had been feeling better- honestly I wouldn't have cared. But at about 5 pm on Monday night, I began to feel significantly worse. I spiked a fever, and I was getting sick outside in the grass about every hour all night. My body hurt so bad that I could hardly walk except to run outside in time. I was laying in my bed, talking to my mom on the phone, having trouble keeping track of our simple conversation because my mind was fuzzy with fever. So not good, I was super miserable. The next morning I walked out of my room, threw up, burst into tears and asked Abby to take me back to Kampala.
So here I am, in Kampala, and not at camp. Its Thursday, and even though I am feeling better, I know I am not going back. Why do I know? Because this was God's plan for me this week. He used my illness to humble me. I am super disappointed that I am not at camp this week, but I have spent even more time praying about it and over the boys. I am reminded of a few things.
First, that I am not the sit back kind of person. I like to get in there and get dirty- hence moving to Uganda :) But God is still working, even when I am not around. He was with these boys long before me, and He will be there only salvation long after I am gone. I am joining with His plan, allowed to be a guest on this mighty adventure He is having.
Second, I am called to serve these kids in any way I can. I made a promise to God, that my love for these boys would always come first before my own desires. I have accepted that my working with them will lead me away from them sometimes, but that is okay. I wanted to be at camp, but God wanted me in Kampala praying for them. I wanted to see what happened with the team that I prepped for, but I don't get to. If someday God calles me back to the states to work and send money back to the boys, I will do it. It would mean that someone else gets to be here, day in and out, loving them. The boys wouldn't see me at all, but they don't need to. My job as a servant isn't to receive love or recognition for what I do. My job is simply that- to get the job done. Jesus never asked for recognition, but He is rewarded beyond all others for the truest form of servant-hood. May I be like Him.
Third, I praise God for perfect timing! Next week, Abby and David are going to Tanzania and I will be here alone and leading a team. If we didn't have a team here this week, I would be forcing myself back to street programs. I would push through because nobody else is around to take care of the boys. But as it is, I can really rest because we have a team of 15 amazing international volunteers who have come to love the boys. I have peace about resting, because I know that I can.
Lastly, I am reminded that as long as I love God, I have worth. As long as I give Him the whole of my heart, and the reigns of my life, He will use me. It may be in a way I didn't see coming, or even don't love, but I will be used. Prayer is important, and those boys need it. I wouldn't have the time to sit and pray for them if I was running around with them. So I will sit before the Lord, and be still.
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