So I am back and its been amazing so far. It honestly feels like I never left... and I love that. I got here, and the boys from our home came to get me from the airport. The next day, I went to the ladies program and helped Abby buy jewelry, and I went to street program too. It was so amazing seeing the boys there, who all remember me and were really happy I was back. They came in their filthy clothes, and I couldn't help thinking how much I love them, and how their grubby clothes just add to their charm. The boys at our home are doing so well, and they have been a joy. I have been going by in the afternoons to see them, and we mostly just play games or sit and talk. They are extra snugly too, because they have not been feeling well, so I got lots of hugs and cuddles :)
One of the most difficult things has been seeing some of the boys that were in our home, now living on the streets. Godfry ran away, and has been in street programs. He was so excited to see me, and was doing alright, but it breaks my heart to know where they are now, and that I cannot do anything for them. The other boy that I have seen is Davis- he is, I have to say, the only boy I know who does really well for himself on the streets. He is a very clever kid, and knows everyone worth knowing in the slums. He is also good with money... and Davis is above all else, exceptionally charming. Yesterday, when he came to programs, he was all charm and smiles. He looked so smart (or well dressed) and kept saying he was doing so well for himself. He told me the story of how he ran away, and it was clear to me that he is so full of anger, but there is no reason for it. He has nobody to blame for his troubles but himself. Under all that rage and charm however, was the broken kid I love. Before he left, I grabbed his head and made him look at me ( he was avoiding eye contact because he did not want me to see his hurting). I told him I loved him so much, no matter what. For just a second, he cracked. He told me he loved me too, and that he missed me so much. UGGHHHHH can you say heartbreak? Gosh, this 16 year old boy has the ability to shatter my heart like no guy ever could. That is the danger of working with street kids I guess, they are just so darn lovable, and also often so hard to help.
On Friday, at the ladies program, Abby shared a bible study from 1 Kings. Its the story of Elijah, when he goes onto the mountain to hear from God, and God comes in the whisper. But she focused a lot on the part that came before that... on the part when he is getting ready to go. When God tells him to go, Elijah burns all of his possessions for farming, and kills his livestock. Why? Because he knew that he had heard from God, and that he had to just GO and not think about it to much. He did not even give himself the opportunity to turn around. That is how I feel a lot these days... like God's voice has been so clear. That I know my direction, and there is no turning back from here. And the best part is that I am so ready, and my soul has so much peace.
One of the most difficult things has been seeing some of the boys that were in our home, now living on the streets. Godfry ran away, and has been in street programs. He was so excited to see me, and was doing alright, but it breaks my heart to know where they are now, and that I cannot do anything for them. The other boy that I have seen is Davis- he is, I have to say, the only boy I know who does really well for himself on the streets. He is a very clever kid, and knows everyone worth knowing in the slums. He is also good with money... and Davis is above all else, exceptionally charming. Yesterday, when he came to programs, he was all charm and smiles. He looked so smart (or well dressed) and kept saying he was doing so well for himself. He told me the story of how he ran away, and it was clear to me that he is so full of anger, but there is no reason for it. He has nobody to blame for his troubles but himself. Under all that rage and charm however, was the broken kid I love. Before he left, I grabbed his head and made him look at me ( he was avoiding eye contact because he did not want me to see his hurting). I told him I loved him so much, no matter what. For just a second, he cracked. He told me he loved me too, and that he missed me so much. UGGHHHHH can you say heartbreak? Gosh, this 16 year old boy has the ability to shatter my heart like no guy ever could. That is the danger of working with street kids I guess, they are just so darn lovable, and also often so hard to help.
On Friday, at the ladies program, Abby shared a bible study from 1 Kings. Its the story of Elijah, when he goes onto the mountain to hear from God, and God comes in the whisper. But she focused a lot on the part that came before that... on the part when he is getting ready to go. When God tells him to go, Elijah burns all of his possessions for farming, and kills his livestock. Why? Because he knew that he had heard from God, and that he had to just GO and not think about it to much. He did not even give himself the opportunity to turn around. That is how I feel a lot these days... like God's voice has been so clear. That I know my direction, and there is no turning back from here. And the best part is that I am so ready, and my soul has so much peace.
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