Okay everyone,
So here I go, back to Uganda! This trip is short (from Nov 29th to Dec 23rd) but I still want to keep people involved in whats going on over there. I have always wanted this blog to be about giving glory to God, and showing How awesome and wonderful He is. In order to do that, I have to be honest about whats going on with me... how human I really am.
In the past few months, I have been struggling with pride, which crept up on me so slowly I did not recognize it until recently. When I first got home, people would say "you are so amazing, with all you do for those kids" and I would immediately tell them that I did nothing, and that God was the amazing one. But after a month or so, I began to take credit for the complements. I began to think "I am giving up a lot to work with these kids" when people would ask me what life in Uganda was like. I cannot lie, writing this even now is painful, knowing I entertained these ideas. Well, anyways, I did think these things and more.
It was not until recently that I saw the plank in my own eye. It came totally unexpectedly- I got an email from one of the boys that was in our street programs before he got a scholarship. He told me that he hated me; because I was American and because white people only came to Uganda to look at poor people and study monkeys. At first, his email just made me angry. How dare this boy tell me that he hates me. How could he tell me that I am not serving him? And then, just as soon as these ideas passed through my head, Jesus spoke up. I could feel His whisper asking me "who are you Caitlyn?"
who am I to think that this boy is wrong in his opinions?
who am I to say I am 'giving up' anything- was it mine to begin with?
who am I to take credit for anything that happens to those wonderful street kids?
who am I to be able to even witness it??
Wow, ouch. And all of the sudden I could see- and although it was painful, I was so blessed. Now I have been working on my heart, making sure it is humble enough to go. Humble enough to serve, and to love like Jesus. Because if the Alpha and Omega came to this earth as the lowest of the low, then who am I?
So here I go, back to Uganda! This trip is short (from Nov 29th to Dec 23rd) but I still want to keep people involved in whats going on over there. I have always wanted this blog to be about giving glory to God, and showing How awesome and wonderful He is. In order to do that, I have to be honest about whats going on with me... how human I really am.
In the past few months, I have been struggling with pride, which crept up on me so slowly I did not recognize it until recently. When I first got home, people would say "you are so amazing, with all you do for those kids" and I would immediately tell them that I did nothing, and that God was the amazing one. But after a month or so, I began to take credit for the complements. I began to think "I am giving up a lot to work with these kids" when people would ask me what life in Uganda was like. I cannot lie, writing this even now is painful, knowing I entertained these ideas. Well, anyways, I did think these things and more.
It was not until recently that I saw the plank in my own eye. It came totally unexpectedly- I got an email from one of the boys that was in our street programs before he got a scholarship. He told me that he hated me; because I was American and because white people only came to Uganda to look at poor people and study monkeys. At first, his email just made me angry. How dare this boy tell me that he hates me. How could he tell me that I am not serving him? And then, just as soon as these ideas passed through my head, Jesus spoke up. I could feel His whisper asking me "who are you Caitlyn?"
who am I to think that this boy is wrong in his opinions?
who am I to say I am 'giving up' anything- was it mine to begin with?
who am I to take credit for anything that happens to those wonderful street kids?
who am I to be able to even witness it??
Wow, ouch. And all of the sudden I could see- and although it was painful, I was so blessed. Now I have been working on my heart, making sure it is humble enough to go. Humble enough to serve, and to love like Jesus. Because if the Alpha and Omega came to this earth as the lowest of the low, then who am I?
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