I am standing in the dark, which is pressing me from all sides. In my hand, I hold a single candle, and its light is just enough to illuminate my immediate surroundings. The dark presses in, and I am afraid, but the light in my candle is strong, although gentile. The light will not go out, and it gives me endless comfort. Step by step, I venture into the unknown, trusting that my little light will illuminate my next steps when it comes time to take them.
Yesterday at church, I was praying during worship. All I kept asking is "what am I holding onto Lord that is keeping me from you?" Its an easy thing to do, but it takes its toll. God however, is beautiful. He answered me simply- its my future. It hit me like a ton of bricks, how worthless all that I desire is without Jesus. NOTHING is worth separation from Christ. There is so much unknown right now, but I am daily giving it all back. Today is my last full day in Uganda, and I know I will be back. This place is so ingrained in my heart, these boys are just waiting to receive my love. My kids are brave, and smart, and kind, and funny, and compassionate. They are the most inspiring and thoughtful children I have ever known. As I think about the holiday season, I realize what it means to give hope and love all over again. Jesus came to offer just that to those who were looked over by everyone else, and my aim is to love like He did.
I know God well enough to know that no matter where He leads me, it will be in His timing. He will do it in a way that lets Him take all the glory, and gives me peace and joy. There is no thought He does not know, no heartache or fear He does not understand, and no place I can hide from His ever loving presence. And as I take the jump that will be the next few months of my life, under the fear is the trust and excitement; I cannot wait to look back at this blog and think "how amazing is my Lord?" all over again!
Yesterday at church, I was praying during worship. All I kept asking is "what am I holding onto Lord that is keeping me from you?" Its an easy thing to do, but it takes its toll. God however, is beautiful. He answered me simply- its my future. It hit me like a ton of bricks, how worthless all that I desire is without Jesus. NOTHING is worth separation from Christ. There is so much unknown right now, but I am daily giving it all back. Today is my last full day in Uganda, and I know I will be back. This place is so ingrained in my heart, these boys are just waiting to receive my love. My kids are brave, and smart, and kind, and funny, and compassionate. They are the most inspiring and thoughtful children I have ever known. As I think about the holiday season, I realize what it means to give hope and love all over again. Jesus came to offer just that to those who were looked over by everyone else, and my aim is to love like He did.
I know God well enough to know that no matter where He leads me, it will be in His timing. He will do it in a way that lets Him take all the glory, and gives me peace and joy. There is no thought He does not know, no heartache or fear He does not understand, and no place I can hide from His ever loving presence. And as I take the jump that will be the next few months of my life, under the fear is the trust and excitement; I cannot wait to look back at this blog and think "how amazing is my Lord?" all over again!
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