Jesus, I am totally overwhelmed. Lord, I know you love these kids more than I do, and it must kill you to see them suffering. I feel frustrated at the amount of hurt and pain I see here, and instead of blaming you for it, I will join you in hurting for them.
For some reason, this past week the task before me has seemed so overwhelming. I cannot help all the children here who need help. I cannot stay with them; I need to come home eventually. I cannot give them all the emotional and physical support they need. This alone would be overwhelming, but the fact is that the street kids of Kampala are just a few of the millions of hurting kids in today's world- and that is the part that breaks me. I am just a speck in a world of hurt. I know I am doing God's work here, and I am loving these kids the best I can, but it is not enough. Now, a year ago (even a month ago) I would have said that only Jesus is big enough for that job. While that is true, it is also a lie we tell ourselves. The fact is that Jesus asked His followers one thing- "Do you truly love me?" John 21:15. He did not ask if we felt affection for Him, or if we trusted Him to take care of things. His last question was do we really, truly, deeply love Him. If the answer is yes, then we are to take care of those He loves. Jesus gave US that job. I am not just talking about Americans, or missions work, or feeding the orphans. I am talking about Ugandans caring about each other, Christian everywhere providing for one another, and what it really means to love your neighbor. If everyone who loved Jesus did these things, if we all took care of His sheep, then the task would not seem so large for any one person. I firmly believe that God can move without us, but He has chosen not to. The bible says that to really love God means to give it ALL away for Him. So why do we read those verses and feel content with our comfortable lives? We should feel very uncomfortable because the sheep that our Shepherd loves are lost, sick and starving. If we care about Jesus then we should care that His heart is broken over these things. The question I am wrestling with tonight is a hard one (for me too) so readers don't hate me...
If we are fine with the broken state of this world, are we taking care of the sheep that Jesus loves so much? And if we are not, then do we truly love Him?
For some reason, this past week the task before me has seemed so overwhelming. I cannot help all the children here who need help. I cannot stay with them; I need to come home eventually. I cannot give them all the emotional and physical support they need. This alone would be overwhelming, but the fact is that the street kids of Kampala are just a few of the millions of hurting kids in today's world- and that is the part that breaks me. I am just a speck in a world of hurt. I know I am doing God's work here, and I am loving these kids the best I can, but it is not enough. Now, a year ago (even a month ago) I would have said that only Jesus is big enough for that job. While that is true, it is also a lie we tell ourselves. The fact is that Jesus asked His followers one thing- "Do you truly love me?" John 21:15. He did not ask if we felt affection for Him, or if we trusted Him to take care of things. His last question was do we really, truly, deeply love Him. If the answer is yes, then we are to take care of those He loves. Jesus gave US that job. I am not just talking about Americans, or missions work, or feeding the orphans. I am talking about Ugandans caring about each other, Christian everywhere providing for one another, and what it really means to love your neighbor. If everyone who loved Jesus did these things, if we all took care of His sheep, then the task would not seem so large for any one person. I firmly believe that God can move without us, but He has chosen not to. The bible says that to really love God means to give it ALL away for Him. So why do we read those verses and feel content with our comfortable lives? We should feel very uncomfortable because the sheep that our Shepherd loves are lost, sick and starving. If we care about Jesus then we should care that His heart is broken over these things. The question I am wrestling with tonight is a hard one (for me too) so readers don't hate me...
If we are fine with the broken state of this world, are we taking care of the sheep that Jesus loves so much? And if we are not, then do we truly love Him?
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