So I posted awhile ago about Enoch, who is one of our precious boys. You an read about Enoch and our prayers for him here , but long story short I knew he was supposed to be in our home, but couldn’t find him. I was so afraid that something really bad had happened to him, because we could NOT find him. We looked, and searched, and asked and came up empty. The 5th spot in my home was “saved” for him, in the hope that he would be found. But after a month and a half of desperately looking, things weren’t looking good.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting in my room at about 9pm when Enoch’s face flashed in my mind. I got chills all over, and knew immediately that I should pray for him. I called Abby, and together we prayed for Enoch. We prayed that God would deliver him, and bring him home, and keep him safe. After that prayer, we looked again (or redoubled our efforts) to find Enoch. When we again had no results, to be honest, I gave up. I concluded that God wanted us to pray for Enoch in that moment, not so much to save him as to commit his spirit to the Lord. I decided, full of heartbreak, that my 5th spot was for another boy. I began to pray over a few kids I thought could maybe fill the spot, but had no peace.
Then, on Friday at programs, one of the boys said he knew where Enoch was staying. Now, every time we looked, the boys claimed to know where Enoch was. So I didn’t have much hope, but “leave no stone unturned” right? So one of our uncles went with this boy, and tried confirm the story. At the time, I was at dinner with friends and my mom. I was having a great time, and when Ronald called me, I assumed he was calling to confirm that Enoch was (again) not found. Instead I picked up my phone and heard an excited voice saying “Cait, I have him!” Still not fully believing, I asked the uncle to confirm a few things that only Enoch would know. After he did, I felt a flood of hope and joy fill my heart. I asked to speak to Enoch, and he got on the phone and I heard one of the most beautiful little voices say “hello auntie Cait, how are you?”. I still tear up thinking about it.
I really, fully, truly believed he was gone. My human heart had all but given up hope. I could not find him, and so I wrongly believed that he was lost from God too. Having Enoch home has been wonderful, and hard too. He is one of our most challenging children (even in Joseph’s House). He is wonderful beyond words, but also very broken. It will take a lot of time and healing for God to fix all the brokenness these boys have, but He can do it.
This week we have had the “running flu” in our house. Running away, for these boys, catches like a flu. They see the other boys going, and remember life on the streets and drugs and they also want to go. When things are hard, they build up street life in their minds (yesterday one of the boys told me “when I am on the streets I eat chicken dinner every night” which is SO not true. That is a very special meal, and they are lucky to get any food at all). Anyways, this week, though Enoch has been home, virtually every boy has run away at some point. Praise Jesus, at the moment, they are all home. But its not easy, and I never know what tomorrow will bring. Each day is new and challenging, and its never the same. But one thing that bringing Enoch home reminded me is how MIGHTY and powerful God really is. He is big enough for all of this, all my problems and fears. They are really never to big for Him, and so I have nothing to worry about. Along those lines, just being His daughter, knowing I am invited and chosen to be in His presence every day, is enough for me. I am filled and loved and He really is enough. And even if He didn’t choose to love me back, He is so good and wonderful and powerful that it doesn’t matter. He is the Lord of Lords, and therefore I should give Him my all every second of every day. But how perfect is the Lord, because He does love us. He knew that we would need to be filled by His love if we were to serve Him faithfully, and so Jesus made it possible.
I think my point is that I have been humbled this week, and reminded that I am nothing compared to Him. And He has taken my fears away, by also reminding me that He is everything and so I can trust Him wholeheartedly.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting in my room at about 9pm when Enoch’s face flashed in my mind. I got chills all over, and knew immediately that I should pray for him. I called Abby, and together we prayed for Enoch. We prayed that God would deliver him, and bring him home, and keep him safe. After that prayer, we looked again (or redoubled our efforts) to find Enoch. When we again had no results, to be honest, I gave up. I concluded that God wanted us to pray for Enoch in that moment, not so much to save him as to commit his spirit to the Lord. I decided, full of heartbreak, that my 5th spot was for another boy. I began to pray over a few kids I thought could maybe fill the spot, but had no peace.
Then, on Friday at programs, one of the boys said he knew where Enoch was staying. Now, every time we looked, the boys claimed to know where Enoch was. So I didn’t have much hope, but “leave no stone unturned” right? So one of our uncles went with this boy, and tried confirm the story. At the time, I was at dinner with friends and my mom. I was having a great time, and when Ronald called me, I assumed he was calling to confirm that Enoch was (again) not found. Instead I picked up my phone and heard an excited voice saying “Cait, I have him!” Still not fully believing, I asked the uncle to confirm a few things that only Enoch would know. After he did, I felt a flood of hope and joy fill my heart. I asked to speak to Enoch, and he got on the phone and I heard one of the most beautiful little voices say “hello auntie Cait, how are you?”. I still tear up thinking about it.
I really, fully, truly believed he was gone. My human heart had all but given up hope. I could not find him, and so I wrongly believed that he was lost from God too. Having Enoch home has been wonderful, and hard too. He is one of our most challenging children (even in Joseph’s House). He is wonderful beyond words, but also very broken. It will take a lot of time and healing for God to fix all the brokenness these boys have, but He can do it.
This week we have had the “running flu” in our house. Running away, for these boys, catches like a flu. They see the other boys going, and remember life on the streets and drugs and they also want to go. When things are hard, they build up street life in their minds (yesterday one of the boys told me “when I am on the streets I eat chicken dinner every night” which is SO not true. That is a very special meal, and they are lucky to get any food at all). Anyways, this week, though Enoch has been home, virtually every boy has run away at some point. Praise Jesus, at the moment, they are all home. But its not easy, and I never know what tomorrow will bring. Each day is new and challenging, and its never the same. But one thing that bringing Enoch home reminded me is how MIGHTY and powerful God really is. He is big enough for all of this, all my problems and fears. They are really never to big for Him, and so I have nothing to worry about. Along those lines, just being His daughter, knowing I am invited and chosen to be in His presence every day, is enough for me. I am filled and loved and He really is enough. And even if He didn’t choose to love me back, He is so good and wonderful and powerful that it doesn’t matter. He is the Lord of Lords, and therefore I should give Him my all every second of every day. But how perfect is the Lord, because He does love us. He knew that we would need to be filled by His love if we were to serve Him faithfully, and so Jesus made it possible.
I think my point is that I have been humbled this week, and reminded that I am nothing compared to Him. And He has taken my fears away, by also reminding me that He is everything and so I can trust Him wholeheartedly.
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