Thursday, August 2, 2012

El Roi

Yesterday, Abby and David left for two weeks in Tanzania. Yesterday also marked one of the most terrifying experiences of my life in Uganda.

Me and Lauren were leaving street programs; she was going to evening service at Streams of Life church, and I was going home due to a migraine. As I was explaining to her boda driver how to get to the church (she didn’t know) a police officer came over and requested that I follow him to the tiny station across the street. Now, he was smiling, and it was a request. He told me “you’re not in trouble, we just want to talk”. Thinking his behavior was strange, I refused. A few moments later, another officer came and requested the same thing. Having just sent Lauren off to the church, and feeling pressure (this guy was more insistent) I agreed to follow him. I was feeling uncomfortable, and nervous already but he insisted that I step inside. Once I got inside the small building, I was confronted by the very angry lead officer. This man had only had the position for 2 weeks, and he was trying to prove himself (he literally told me that he arrested me so people would take him seriously). Because I was scared, I snapped at him, asking what he wanted. This made him even more furious. He asked me for my passport (which I never carry with me) and when I couldn’t produce it, he placed me inside a holding cell.

Now, thank God that Lauren had the foresight to call Uncle Abdul, who was still at programs, and she quickly called to let me know Abdul was on his way. When I told the officer that my Ugandan friend was coming to speak on my behalf, he let me out of the cell, and told me to sit in his office. The officer then spent the next 10 min verbally assaulting me- telling me I was no better because of my skin color, that he was going to show me how powerless I am, that police are “Jesus on earth” (honestly, he said that over and over... um talk about injustice), and that he was going to punish “rich people acting suspiciously”. Here, police can arrest you if they even suspect you’re going to do something wrong; this means they can fabricate just about any reason to arrest someone. There is no procedures on holding people, and no rights for the suspect. I could have been thrown away, and forgotten about if this man had decided he wanted it that way. Fortunately,  Abdul came running, and he brought with him Pastor Nelson (the pastor of Grace church, where we run programs. He is VERY respected in the community).  I praise God for provided these godly men to come and help me. They persuaded the officer to let me go, on the condition that I come back the following day (today) with Lauren to produce our passports.

We did end up going back today, but the officer was gone. He call and told us to wait, but on the advice of several of our uncles we decided to leave. The officer has no legal reason to see our passports, and no reason to hold us. Its a power game to him, and we aren’t playing. I could use prayers that God continues to provide for me in this situation, and that this officer forgets about us (which I think he will...).

Needless to say, this was all very scary. I have seldom felt so out of control, realizing that I was completely at the mercy of this corrupt officer. The more I look at the behavior of this man, the more it frightens me- how out of control he was combined with how much power he has. All I could do was pray- pray that God would protect me. Pray that He would send help. Pray He would give me the right words to say. Pray  He would calm the man. I was powerless and totally defenseless, but God is strong. To be honest, its going to take me awhile to process all of it, but there are a few things I’ve concluded. This has brought me deeper understanding street kids. How must they feel, that their entire lives are like this? How powerless and scared they must be! Knowing that everyone is more powerful than you, and that nobody will come to your defense is horrifying. It brought me closer to my boys, and gave me a fresh perspective of what they go through. The second thing I know right now is that God is my protector. He called me to be here, and that is really hard sometimes. I am a foreigner, single, young, and often helpless. God however knows all of this. He knows my needs, and hears my cries before I ever call out to Him. He hems me in before and behind, and I am precious in His sight. There is a Hebrew name for God, El Roi. It means "the Strong One who Sees"... to know that that God was looking out for me and protecting me brings me so much comfort and peace. There is a great quote in the Narnia series by C.S. Lewis. Mr. Beaver is describing Aslan (who, if you know anything about the books, represents Jesus).

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

My world is not always safe- I am sorry to disappoint all of you at home :) Jesus is NOT safe.
Following Jesus is risky, but he is always with me.
El Roi is always watching over His daughter,
And He is good.

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