Okay, first sorry for not posting sooner. Second, sorry if this seems lame and not relevant to anyone. I have just been thinking about it a lot the past week, and I wanted to share about it. This one is for all my single ladies!
Having a best friend who is married is kinda challenging sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel left out or anything. Its just that sometimes, watching Abby and David together is a little hard. It reminds me of what I don’t have. So a few weeks ago I was talking with Abby about it. About how its hard, and how I wonder sometimes if I will ever find someone. I trust that I will- honestly I do. I just wonder sometimes how long it will take. I think many single girls wonder the same thing. I get sucked into the guessing game. I meet a nice, godly man and wonder...
And yet a huge part of me isn’t ready. This year was filled with heartbreak and loss. My heart is still fragile, still healing. Abby pointed out to me that God wasn’t withholding someone from me, but actually protecting me. That even if the right guy came into my life right now, I wouldn’t be ready for him, and it would cause more pain.
This conversation got me thinking about stuff, like all the “almost” relationships I had. So many times I’ve asked God “why not him?”. Am I not faithful enough? Not mature enough? Not devoted enough? But now I look back and realize that if any of those had worked out, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have followed my calling (or I would have done it at a high price). I wouldn’t have been free to go! All those relationships that ended in “almost” lead me here.
Its comforting to see that now, because it reminds me that someday, I will look at my husband and be thankful for all the times I turned away from someone else. When God brings him, and I know He will, its going to be the perfect fit. There will be no second guessing, and no wondering if I should be waiting for something else. I will know it, just like I know I belong here in Uganda. Like I know I belong serving street kids. I will just know :)
Having a best friend who is married is kinda challenging sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel left out or anything. Its just that sometimes, watching Abby and David together is a little hard. It reminds me of what I don’t have. So a few weeks ago I was talking with Abby about it. About how its hard, and how I wonder sometimes if I will ever find someone. I trust that I will- honestly I do. I just wonder sometimes how long it will take. I think many single girls wonder the same thing. I get sucked into the guessing game. I meet a nice, godly man and wonder...
And yet a huge part of me isn’t ready. This year was filled with heartbreak and loss. My heart is still fragile, still healing. Abby pointed out to me that God wasn’t withholding someone from me, but actually protecting me. That even if the right guy came into my life right now, I wouldn’t be ready for him, and it would cause more pain.
This conversation got me thinking about stuff, like all the “almost” relationships I had. So many times I’ve asked God “why not him?”. Am I not faithful enough? Not mature enough? Not devoted enough? But now I look back and realize that if any of those had worked out, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have followed my calling (or I would have done it at a high price). I wouldn’t have been free to go! All those relationships that ended in “almost” lead me here.
Its comforting to see that now, because it reminds me that someday, I will look at my husband and be thankful for all the times I turned away from someone else. When God brings him, and I know He will, its going to be the perfect fit. There will be no second guessing, and no wondering if I should be waiting for something else. I will know it, just like I know I belong here in Uganda. Like I know I belong serving street kids. I will just know :)
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