So the past week has been pretty painful. For reasons that I will not go into, I made the difficult choice to break my engagement. No more wedding, no more fiancé... many dreams shattered. Ouch. This is all new, and I am still in the middle of it all, trying to figure out what God’s plan was, and what He wants from me now. A few things though have been abundantly clear.
1. My Father is the Almighty and wonderful. He holds me close, picks up the broken pieces, and moves me forward. At the first sign of heartbreak, I went running to Him. He never lets me go, and is the Father of all comfort. God never fails, and so I will praise Him.
2. Uganda is home. I literally just got back from an almost 3 month trip to America. And yet, even though things are hard, I haven’t thought of leaving- not even once. This is home, and these are my people. My ministry staff is a family, and this is exactly where God has called me to be. I know this pain wont get easier if I run from it, and so in Uganda I will stay. I will continue to love on my boys, and work for the glory of Jesus.
3. Joseph’s House is my purpose for being in Uganda, and honestly what I was born to do. Right when things got called off, I had a moment of panic. I thought “I can’t do this alone”. Almost simultaneously, there was another voice in my heart speaking louder than my fears. The voice said “I have anointed you, and through Me all things are possible”. Thank you Jesus <3 My kids are and always will be mine. Nothing but God could keep me away from them, but God is for us, so nothing will stop me. I am going to be a mom to the most amazing kids ever! They are my heart and joy, and I can do this through my maker.
In moments when I feel like my heart has been cut open, or when I think I cannot get through this, I think of “homecoming day”. The day I get to bring my boys home. Its not far away- only one more month. And for them, for that day and that moment, I can do anything. I think about having them safe. Their first week home, I will not go anywhere. We will stay home together as a family, and watch movies and read and play cards. And I will probably check on them every night, just to make sure they are really safe and sound in their new beds. There will be many hard moments, and I am sure it will be anything but smooth sailing. But to have them home, and safe and within my sight... oh I cannot express the joy that thought brings. The kind of joy that brings tears to my eyes (the good kind of tears :) and gives me chills. Like a thousand candles in my soul, light and soft and glowing.
Keep moving forward.
1. My Father is the Almighty and wonderful. He holds me close, picks up the broken pieces, and moves me forward. At the first sign of heartbreak, I went running to Him. He never lets me go, and is the Father of all comfort. God never fails, and so I will praise Him.
2. Uganda is home. I literally just got back from an almost 3 month trip to America. And yet, even though things are hard, I haven’t thought of leaving- not even once. This is home, and these are my people. My ministry staff is a family, and this is exactly where God has called me to be. I know this pain wont get easier if I run from it, and so in Uganda I will stay. I will continue to love on my boys, and work for the glory of Jesus.
3. Joseph’s House is my purpose for being in Uganda, and honestly what I was born to do. Right when things got called off, I had a moment of panic. I thought “I can’t do this alone”. Almost simultaneously, there was another voice in my heart speaking louder than my fears. The voice said “I have anointed you, and through Me all things are possible”. Thank you Jesus <3 My kids are and always will be mine. Nothing but God could keep me away from them, but God is for us, so nothing will stop me. I am going to be a mom to the most amazing kids ever! They are my heart and joy, and I can do this through my maker.
In moments when I feel like my heart has been cut open, or when I think I cannot get through this, I think of “homecoming day”. The day I get to bring my boys home. Its not far away- only one more month. And for them, for that day and that moment, I can do anything. I think about having them safe. Their first week home, I will not go anywhere. We will stay home together as a family, and watch movies and read and play cards. And I will probably check on them every night, just to make sure they are really safe and sound in their new beds. There will be many hard moments, and I am sure it will be anything but smooth sailing. But to have them home, and safe and within my sight... oh I cannot express the joy that thought brings. The kind of joy that brings tears to my eyes (the good kind of tears :) and gives me chills. Like a thousand candles in my soul, light and soft and glowing.
Keep moving forward.
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