So this past week, my Davis (UCD and church) community was rocked by the death of one of our own. A member of my college group, Linnea, had been missing since before I left. It was known that she had a mental break, and wasn’t doing good when she disappeared. The search went on for over 2 months, and finally resulted in the discovery of her body over this past week.
I will admit that when she first went missing, it occurred to me that she may not come home. I searched as much as I could in the days prior to my leaving for Uganda, but there was a lot of hope in that time. The searchers and her family had a lot of faith, and there was potential sightings of her. I gave it up to God, and let go. I honestly believed she would eventually come back. That said, it was a shock when she was discovered dead; thinking she couldn't win against the pain she was feeling, she decided to end her life.
Linnea was a beautiful 19yr old who’s life was full of potential and love. I am thankful that she was a believer, and that we have God’s promise of salvation and eternity with her. My job, the place I live, the things I see do not allow for doubt of God’s goodness. If I question the character of my King, I loose everything. Its so hard though, when something terrible happens. When a child I love dies, or cannot come into our home, or is raped. When I see people starving, or witness horrible things. When a beautiful, young college comitts suicide.
A few years ago, I had the privilege of serving at camp with a family who had just lost their baby. Jarrod, the husband, is a pastor. This couple had two boys, and were well loved in their community. But their youngest son, Tyler, never woke up from his nap one day. I met them exactly three weeks after their four month old baby died. Three weeks! They had already been speaking at another camp before ours... this couple had amazing faith. I remember talking to Jarrod about it one night after campfire, about how they were getting through it. What he told me changed my view of God forever.
Jarrod told me that at Tyler’s funeral, he and his wife could hardly stand because of their grief. Even though they were weak, they stood with hands lifted high praising God. He told me that some days, all he could tell God was how angry he was. How betrayed by God he felt, and how much he was hurting by God’s choice. But through the pain and the anger, he continued to praise Jesus. He said
“People die every day. Every day, someone’s child is lost, and people are starving and hurting and broken. That is the world we live in, and it always has been. What kind of hypocrite am I, that today, when I am the one being effected by this broken world, suddenly the character of God changes? God never changes. I sang His praise last month when it was someone else's child, because He is good and holy. And I will sing His praise today when it was my child, because He is still good and holy. God is always God”
I thought it then, and I think it now- how true. How much more should I praise God through my pain, because He never changes. He is and was and always will be. Death hurts, but God won that fight for us. Death may hurt, but it cannot destroy anymore. And there is joy and hope and goodness in that... and that is the true character of God.
I will admit that when she first went missing, it occurred to me that she may not come home. I searched as much as I could in the days prior to my leaving for Uganda, but there was a lot of hope in that time. The searchers and her family had a lot of faith, and there was potential sightings of her. I gave it up to God, and let go. I honestly believed she would eventually come back. That said, it was a shock when she was discovered dead; thinking she couldn't win against the pain she was feeling, she decided to end her life.
Linnea was a beautiful 19yr old who’s life was full of potential and love. I am thankful that she was a believer, and that we have God’s promise of salvation and eternity with her. My job, the place I live, the things I see do not allow for doubt of God’s goodness. If I question the character of my King, I loose everything. Its so hard though, when something terrible happens. When a child I love dies, or cannot come into our home, or is raped. When I see people starving, or witness horrible things. When a beautiful, young college comitts suicide.
A few years ago, I had the privilege of serving at camp with a family who had just lost their baby. Jarrod, the husband, is a pastor. This couple had two boys, and were well loved in their community. But their youngest son, Tyler, never woke up from his nap one day. I met them exactly three weeks after their four month old baby died. Three weeks! They had already been speaking at another camp before ours... this couple had amazing faith. I remember talking to Jarrod about it one night after campfire, about how they were getting through it. What he told me changed my view of God forever.
Jarrod told me that at Tyler’s funeral, he and his wife could hardly stand because of their grief. Even though they were weak, they stood with hands lifted high praising God. He told me that some days, all he could tell God was how angry he was. How betrayed by God he felt, and how much he was hurting by God’s choice. But through the pain and the anger, he continued to praise Jesus. He said
“People die every day. Every day, someone’s child is lost, and people are starving and hurting and broken. That is the world we live in, and it always has been. What kind of hypocrite am I, that today, when I am the one being effected by this broken world, suddenly the character of God changes? God never changes. I sang His praise last month when it was someone else's child, because He is good and holy. And I will sing His praise today when it was my child, because He is still good and holy. God is always God”
I thought it then, and I think it now- how true. How much more should I praise God through my pain, because He never changes. He is and was and always will be. Death hurts, but God won that fight for us. Death may hurt, but it cannot destroy anymore. And there is joy and hope and goodness in that... and that is the true character of God.
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