Thursday, September 27, 2012

God = Love

So the other day I was in this shopping center buying DVDs. There is a particular woman I usually buy from, because she is fair and her movies are clean. I was browsing through the kids movies, and she asked me if I wanted some Disney movie (I think it was the Lion King). Without thinking, I told her “no, my kids already have that one”. It was no big deal, but after that she kept eying me, and I know she was thinking “you look to young to have kids”. She looked very concerned, and I was trying not to laugh. Although the woman doesn’t know the whole story, the truth is that these are my kids. These precious children are the reason God brought me to this place, probably why He put me on this earth. They are the delights of my life.

I know what it means to be fully invested in your children’s lives. I’ve felt that “2 am and my kid is super sick, what do I do?” panic all moms understand. I know what it means to hurt when they do, and beam at their accomplishments. What its like to desperately want to make a better choice for them, while knowing you’ve got to let them figure things out for themselves. I have had the honor of loving a child for the first time in their lives- to be among the first adults to cherish them. And while its sad, its also wonderful to be able to offer all of my heart to a little boy. That he gets to know for the first time an adult will love him forever, no matter what.

I know what it feels like to be amazed that you could possibly love someone so much- so infinitely deeper than you ever thought possible. To stare at a child and be at a loss for words because God created someone so utterly perfect and beautiful. And its kinda terrifying, and also incredible.

The other day, one of our volunteers did a devotion at street programs. She talked about John 3:16 and how “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son” and it was one of those moments when you hear something old for the first time. I could quote that verse upside-down and backwards in my sleep. Its on bumper stickers and coffee mugs. Its great, and simple little summary of what God did for us. Except there is actually so much more packed into that verse, and we need to read it the way it was intended to be read. Its not a summary of what God did for us as much as its a summary of His heart and character. He loved His only son, the same way any parent loves their child; in that mind blowing, endless and all consuming way. And its God we are talking about, so whatever I can feel for my kids is only a small piece of the depth of His love. And even still, He loved us. Could you (parents reading this) make that sacrifice? I don’t think I could...

I love my kids because God gave me His heart for them. Because God loves them. And God loves me equally infinitely. And He loves the world, each person, that same way. And He loves His son. All this to say that I think that passage in John is really trying to convey one outstanding characteristic of our Father: His love is so deep and so wide we will never know the depth of it, because God is love.

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