I write my journal as a daily letter to God. These are some of my recent entries...
11/1/12: Went to Kivulu with Amy today to hangout with our kids. It means a lot to them when we see them outside of regular programs. We found Kasozi and Able, and invited them to dinner. I love those boys SO MUCH! Uncle Laurence walked with them to Chicken Tonight and the whole meal, they couldn’t stop smiling. It makes my heart sing because they know we love them. While we were eating, a bunch of our little boys in Wandegyre found us. We bought them all chips (fries) and chicken. They danced outside the restaurant in the rain, causing a scene but totally making me smile.
11/2/12: At programs today, the boys were wild! And all the boys we met yesterday were in really good moods. Alex is back at programs, and it makes me so sad to see him on the streets again. At the same time, I am glad he is seeking us out so we can help/love him to the best of our abilities. Jesus, please give me clarity and wisdom in your plan for him. Help me to help him; I know that you haven’t given up on him. You still have a plan. Reveal it to me!
Often I love just watching all the boys interact. Outside the church, they were playing before we started. They always make me laugh. They fight, and steal from each other, and are also so giving and caring. God, you create only beautiful things, and these boys are so divinely crafted. It seems impossible to me that my love for them is only a fraction of Yours. Lord, how deep and how wide is Your love? Your mysteries are to great for me to fathom.
11/3/12: Out to the village for the weekend. Fred is settling in at home, and it makes me SO happy to see him safe here. I could see the smile on his face from way down the road as we drove up. He is so sweet. At therapy tonight, it was hard to hear the ongoing loss and pain these boy are dealing with. People have deeply hurt them, and I don’t understand how you could ever willingly look at their precious faces and aim to hurt them. Honestly, it makes me sick. Sometimes it seems too much, and to great for anyone to heal. It is at times when I listen to their heartbreak that I remember only You can heal. Father, we all need your love so badly. Only Your love can redeem, heal and comfort in the way each of these boys need (in the way we all need). They have come so far, but there is so much left to be done. Spirit, fall on these boys. Continue doing the work that was started here, so that my precious boys are whole. Let them all feel Your love tonight.
11/4/12: SO MUCH RAIN! Days like today are some of my favorites. I went to the older boys house in time for the sky to open up. It poured for over an hour. All the boys crowded in the living room. Teenage boys are way to hyper when its rainy... I don’t know what it is! Emma started singing, and little Bashil and Ashlaf were playing the drums. Monday and Shafik started dancing. When I say dancing, I mean it. Africans can dance! Its a full blown, no worries, no reservations, whole body kind of movement. They were all laughing and screaming and jumping, and I was laughing so hard. I miss the days when I lived full time with them, and I know that it will always be special in my memories. Still, being able to see them every weekend, and share in their daily lives like this is wonderful.
As I watched them, suddenly, it hit me so hard; they are the reason. I know that sounds silly- obviously they are the reason I am here. They are my ministry, and my kids. But its more than that. Watching them reminded me of a night, several years ago. Sitting in Kivulu, watching this same group of boys play at their house. Now teens, they were all just kids then, and I was just a visitor. But I loved them. Everything about Africa was new, really foreign, and kinda scary. But I knew the moment I met them, they were this piece of my life that had been missing. I knew they were the reason You had placed Africa on my heart, the reason I felt an urgency to go. And watching them then, just like today, my heart melted. Overnight, my life changed drastically. They are the reason You brought me here. Uganda is my home, and sometimes its hard. But I wouldn’t change it, or ever want to. These kids are the reason I am here to stay; I knew it the moment I met them... I could never leave them. God, I cannot praise you enough for this great love. For Your love for me, or the beautiful life You’ve given me. Its incredible...
For you Lord, there are 10,000 reasons for my heart to find :)
11/1/12: Went to Kivulu with Amy today to hangout with our kids. It means a lot to them when we see them outside of regular programs. We found Kasozi and Able, and invited them to dinner. I love those boys SO MUCH! Uncle Laurence walked with them to Chicken Tonight and the whole meal, they couldn’t stop smiling. It makes my heart sing because they know we love them. While we were eating, a bunch of our little boys in Wandegyre found us. We bought them all chips (fries) and chicken. They danced outside the restaurant in the rain, causing a scene but totally making me smile.
11/2/12: At programs today, the boys were wild! And all the boys we met yesterday were in really good moods. Alex is back at programs, and it makes me so sad to see him on the streets again. At the same time, I am glad he is seeking us out so we can help/love him to the best of our abilities. Jesus, please give me clarity and wisdom in your plan for him. Help me to help him; I know that you haven’t given up on him. You still have a plan. Reveal it to me!
Often I love just watching all the boys interact. Outside the church, they were playing before we started. They always make me laugh. They fight, and steal from each other, and are also so giving and caring. God, you create only beautiful things, and these boys are so divinely crafted. It seems impossible to me that my love for them is only a fraction of Yours. Lord, how deep and how wide is Your love? Your mysteries are to great for me to fathom.
11/3/12: Out to the village for the weekend. Fred is settling in at home, and it makes me SO happy to see him safe here. I could see the smile on his face from way down the road as we drove up. He is so sweet. At therapy tonight, it was hard to hear the ongoing loss and pain these boy are dealing with. People have deeply hurt them, and I don’t understand how you could ever willingly look at their precious faces and aim to hurt them. Honestly, it makes me sick. Sometimes it seems too much, and to great for anyone to heal. It is at times when I listen to their heartbreak that I remember only You can heal. Father, we all need your love so badly. Only Your love can redeem, heal and comfort in the way each of these boys need (in the way we all need). They have come so far, but there is so much left to be done. Spirit, fall on these boys. Continue doing the work that was started here, so that my precious boys are whole. Let them all feel Your love tonight.
11/4/12: SO MUCH RAIN! Days like today are some of my favorites. I went to the older boys house in time for the sky to open up. It poured for over an hour. All the boys crowded in the living room. Teenage boys are way to hyper when its rainy... I don’t know what it is! Emma started singing, and little Bashil and Ashlaf were playing the drums. Monday and Shafik started dancing. When I say dancing, I mean it. Africans can dance! Its a full blown, no worries, no reservations, whole body kind of movement. They were all laughing and screaming and jumping, and I was laughing so hard. I miss the days when I lived full time with them, and I know that it will always be special in my memories. Still, being able to see them every weekend, and share in their daily lives like this is wonderful.
As I watched them, suddenly, it hit me so hard; they are the reason. I know that sounds silly- obviously they are the reason I am here. They are my ministry, and my kids. But its more than that. Watching them reminded me of a night, several years ago. Sitting in Kivulu, watching this same group of boys play at their house. Now teens, they were all just kids then, and I was just a visitor. But I loved them. Everything about Africa was new, really foreign, and kinda scary. But I knew the moment I met them, they were this piece of my life that had been missing. I knew they were the reason You had placed Africa on my heart, the reason I felt an urgency to go. And watching them then, just like today, my heart melted. Overnight, my life changed drastically. They are the reason You brought me here. Uganda is my home, and sometimes its hard. But I wouldn’t change it, or ever want to. These kids are the reason I am here to stay; I knew it the moment I met them... I could never leave them. God, I cannot praise you enough for this great love. For Your love for me, or the beautiful life You’ve given me. Its incredible...
For you Lord, there are 10,000 reasons for my heart to find :)
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